I realized that this is always how i start out when im writing something.

Im starting to get idea on how to live life. but its abit hard being like this for so long.

Im just saying that is all one sided view from me. Nothing here is 2 sided.

I cried yesterday, i felt that recently that our relationship is so distanced.

And the worst part is that he didn't even hug me, when your girlfriend is crying, i thought the boyfriend should hug her?

When I cry, i would love a hug.

This reminded me of the time when i cried infront of wendy and she didnt hugged me.

That hurt, but this hurt more.

I just felt like, maybe cause, i cry too often and maybe he was numb to me crying?

I did told him before that i cry very easily.

Maybe my tears are just never ending.

But in the end, when i told him that he was sweet enough.

He told me cause he wanted to stop caring cause he didnt felt like I cared for him at all.

Like an eye for an eye thing.

I don't think love should be like this ba.

I never treat people like this unless i hate them.

That why when i read love stories, i will feel like, love is such a wonderful thing to them.

That no matter how much hurt the person inflicted on you. You wont do the same thing back?

This i think voice down to character ba.

I said that i don't blame him, cause personally i know that making him like this.

I dont text back like a girlfriend, im easily distracted and i don't know how to multitask.

I try to make up to him when we are alone. Like i try to be sweet, but i use to be able to see that he really appreciated me last time, but now i guess its like same?

I dunno, maybe im over sensitive. But in a way, no matter what i say, i feel that its my fault, and he confirms it cause he would have a rebuttal everything.

Like im sorry, but cause..

I never blamed him. Cause i know that its my fault that made him this way.

Maybe now i just need to know that he still loves me ba.

Sometimes i want something sweet, like last time.

But like he said, he changed cause i also changed. nevermind.

If everything is an eye for an eye, then maybe our love isnt meant to be ba.

I didnt mean to treat him bad. But i dunno if things will get better.

I can feel the change, and i guess i need reassurance.

What changed? i cant tell you specifically, cause its a feeling.

I am over sensitive in this manner, insensitive in the rest ba. Whatever.

I love reading stories of love. :) Where love is not selfish and kind.

Your love is selfless. It expects returns. Maybe thats why sometimes i dont feel like its my free will. I dunno how to explain this feeling.

Like when you love someone, no matter if they love you back or not, you will love that person. If that love is deep enough. Its tiring, and you will get tired out and start to give up, but if that person really means alot to you, how hard to try to give up, is also abit hard right?

Its like, as long as I don't don something, i need to live in fear of a breakup.

I hate this topic. and please don't talk to me anymore about it.

I just want to share my thoughts cause its not often i let myself think about it.

I want to experience that kind of love, but yeah, like you said, im selfish and with that, how am i going to experience that kind of love right?

Im sad now, but the reason is cause i feel alone now.

Both of our hearts are tired. I dunno what will give way. Or rather, who will give way first.

Loving is so tiring.

Taste of reality i guess. Im gullible, naive and childish.

Time to grow up?

Never knew growing up can be so unhappy.

Have this sinking feeling often.

When we kiss, when we hug. i still have it.

Hiaz. But its something that i must work out cause you at your limit right?

I'll try, but its hard.