I don't understand the love of which runs in my family. I don't understand how my family is able to survive till now. 

My mother, as much as I love her, doesn't know what of unconditional love. As I write this, I'm tearing cause it is an issue which I wish very much to solve but have no idea how.

My mother doesn't allow my Dad to touch her. 

She simply is always annoyed with him. Sure, he is an old man, with habits that is not ideal. But he loves my mum very much. This is the part that breaks my heart the most.

How can a husband stay with a wife knowing that his touch is annoying and his conversation is not appreciated by her. They don't even have a proper conversation like couple do, they don't go out and date, they don't even eat a simple meal together. 

How i envy when my friends tells me that their parents still goes out on dates, or even as simple as, they go out to buy thing together, or eat downstairs together. 

My parents are like 2 separated entities with me holding them together.

Yet I can see that my dad loves my mum very much. On the flip side, my mum always get annoyed when talking about my dad. I obviously do not know whether either of them has an affair outside. But such a loveless marriage, such a one sided affair, how do you stay knowing that your wife is like that?

My daddy would want me to call my mummy to have dinner together only to get rejected. He would say that she won't pick up his call.  As i'm crying here, about a lost situation that I cannot redeem cause it is not me, all i can do is spend more time with my Dad.

One of the biggest regret i ever had was to act like my mum when i was young. I am closer with my mum, so i would tend to follow her ways. When she shun my Dad's touch, i would do the same and even kick him. 

If i could go back in time, i would literally slap myself for doing that to him. 

In life, there are things that we regret, things that we had the power to change, this would be one of mine. I honestly do not blame my dad if he has an affair. I don't want a broken family, but I think it is unfair for someone to stay in a marriage like this. I admire my Dad very much cause of this. The love he has for my mum is deep enough to overlook everything and all this.

As much as I love my mum, i do not get how she can be like this. Wanting to go overseas without my father, getting so annoyed with him. Why did she even marry him in the first place, claiming that he wasn't like this in the past, but unconditional love... I thought marriage was to have that?

I always quieten down when faced with this situation from both side. One day, i would ask my mum why is she like this... is the marriage so bad for her to do this?

You imagine being at a family gathering where all my uncle and aunties are beside their husbands, where my mum do not wish to sit beside my father. 

The pain i feel not for myself, but for my Dad. 

The worst part is that, i don't even know what he feels about all this, its like he is always fine. 

I think in this part, i'm somewhat similar to him. 

After experiencing pain, you learn to live with it and just smile.

I look like my mum, its uncanny, but inside, i am more like my Dad.

To end this post, I wish and pray that a solution will help remedy this.

However, this is not my marriage, I have no hand in this.

Till then, I love you Daddy.